Warming Your Spouse Up to the Idea of Collaborative Divorce

When you’re facing a divorce and would like to go through it as amicably as possible, collaborative divorce is a great option to consider. It costs less, avoids potentially nasty litigation, and allows both parties to move on with their lives sooner. The most important factor that make collaborative divorce an amicable solution, however, is that both individuals agree to handle the divorce in this way.

So, if you know you’d like to divorce collaboratively, how do you get your spouse on board? While you should not think of it as a winning vs. losing proposition in which you must convince them to choose your side, you should share with them some important information about collaborative divorce and hopefully they will recognize that it’s the best solution for you both.

“The Talk”

Every divorcing couple has “the talk” at some point during which they decide to end the marriage. While every “talk” looks a bit different, it serves as a great opportunity to begin exploring the options for what’s to come.

While you may not want to bring up your researched points about collaborative divorce right after the decision has been made, you should bring it up soon after so that you both can get on the same page early on in the process.

When the questions of “what’s next?” and “where do we go from here?” come up, it’s a good time to discuss the facts of collaborative divorce.

Collaborative Divorce Facts

Here are some great talking points to bring up with your spouse:

  • In a collaborative divorce, the couple works together to agree upon the settlement rather than leaving it in the court’s hands.
  • Most couples who chose this route report higher levels of satisfaction with their divorce.
  • It can be much less stressful without litigation.
  • There’s more control over the schedule and costs.
  • You speak for yourself vs. a lawyer speaking on your behalf.
  • The proceedings take place in the privacy of a small conference room.
  • It encourages healthy communication.
  • There’s a team of neutral experts there to help through tricky parts of the process.

If you present it properly, hopefully your spouse will understand why the collaborative divorce process is the right solution for you. When you’re ready to begin collaborating through a healthy divorce, contact the Tampa offices of Natalie Baird Mediations & Collaborative Divorce to get started.

Starting Summer Off Right as a Co-Parent

With summer drawing near and the taste of freedom so close for every child, it’s a good time to make sure you’re ready to handle everything that summer break is as a co-parent. Co-parenting through summer break can be hard, as it’s a completely new schedule thrown at you that requires flexibility, new pick-up windows, family vacations, and more. Especially for those who’ve just recently gone through divorce, summer break brings up a whole new host of challenges.

In order to get your summer started off on the best foot, here are some tips to make co-parenting go as smoothly as possible during the kids’ time off this year:

  1. Plan early; don’t wait until the last minute.

 

 

To avoid unneeded stress, don’t let plans unfold “naturally” or just “let it happen.” While this may seem like the more stress-free way to handle things at first, that will all quickly unravel when logistics come into play. Instead, sit down and create a plan that will work for your whole summer. This may mean sitting down with your ex to make some agreements. If that’s not possible for your situation, there are some great apps available to make scheduling for co-parents a breeze!

Figure out what custody schedule will work for you, work around any family vacations, decide upon childcare or summer camps, and put it all down on paper so you both have a common plan to work off of. That way, you’ll know what to expect each step of the way.

  1. Get the kids involved.

Summer is supposed to be a fun and carefree time for children. So, how about asking them how they’d like to spend it? Before nailing down every aspect of your plan, consult with them to see what their top choices are for summer activities and things of that nature so they feel like their time matters to you. Everything will go smoother with happy kids.

  1. Find agreement.

For a smooth summer to be possible, there should be an agreement between parents right off the bat. Rules change a bit when school gets out, so make sure you and your co-parent are on the same page about things like TV time, grounding, sleepovers, and things like that. Staying strong in what you’ve both agreed to will keep a united front for the children.

  1. Stay flexible.

Remaining flexible is so important for the summer time. Even though you have a plan in place and have made certain agreements with your ex, things are bound to change. Being able to roll with the punches when they come will make for a much more pleasant experience not only for you, but also for your kids who will be learning from your example. Handle unexpected situations as calmly as you can and things will surely work out as they’re supposed to.

Summer Kick-Off

Got all the above tips down? How about starting off summer with a small kick-off party for your children and a few of their friends? Getting the kids in the spirit early on can set them up for a great summer, no matter the co-parenting circumstances.

Making a Co-Parenting Schedule that Works for You

Your children are at the front of your mind during the divorce process, of course. You wonder how you’re going to make it work with your soon-to-be-ex once you’re separated. You have mental images of the weekends and holidays you’ll have to go through without them.

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